IEP, yeah you know me!

The title of this thread is for all my friends that remember going to school dances and the cheesy pseudo rap songs for all the popular kids to dance to. (If you didn't get my pun, then skip to the next paragraph.)

On to more serious matters. My vacation is over. I had a wonderful time and I'll be posting my short video clips soon. They were so fun to put together, that I cannot keep them from my friends and family. They must be shared, talked about, and laughed over for at least 10 minutes.

So why does everything have to happen at the same time? Life never seems to spread things out and to make it more manageable for working parents. I'll be honest...being a working mother has been one of the hardest challenges. How can I possibly be the superstar mother of the year for my children and be an awesome employee at the same time.. The truth is I'm failing at both. (or so it feels that way.)

I won't sugar coat it..life has been very hard lately. Quinn has had several appointments via the school district psychologist, special education teacher, and speech pathologist to assess his level of functioning. At first, Quinn performed eagerly and cooperated with the teachers. During this process, I decided to take a trip out of country to see Japan and catch up with my big bro. It was poor timing... Since I've returned from my trip, Quinn has been making me suffer for my time away and has begun to act out in school and refuses to cooperate with testing or his speech therapy. When I drop Quinn off at daycare in the morning, I try a Mission Impossible sort of covert action to leave him there without making contact with the teacher (Ms. Asha.) Unfortunately, she pulled a ninja stunt move and blocked my exit from the classroom yesterday and gave me a list of things that Quinn refused to do.

I'm sure Ms. Asha used more sincere and polite terms to describe Quinn's behavior, but what I heard was....

"Your kid is a punk..he wont listen to anyone...he doesn't participate in class...when confronted about his inappropriate behavior he karate kicked a teacher and used preschool slurs like "poo oo head." He's ruined..you've failed as a mother..and your son will grow up to be an even bigger punk, loser, and delinquent...Call the closest military school and beg for their mercy ASAP."

Then this morning, Quinn went to speech therapy where he refused to listen to the speech pathologist and glared at her as if she were the object of his hate, pain, and misery. He ended up hiding behind a poster stand and only came out when he could see my eyes turning red and the steam seeping from my ears. Before we left, the speech pathologist asked if "something is different at home."

What is different? Should I tell her that I filed for divorce, that I killed Chase last night in his fit of rage over a juice sippy and then buried him in my flower bed? I hate my job...but that's nothing new...and I've been leading a double life and my trip to Tokyo was a cover for my covert Mission Impossible jobs. NOTHING IS DIFFERENT!!!!

These are the questions I've been mulling around in my head. The only change I can think about is my trip to Japan. But I've been home for nearly 2 weeks. Could Quinn still be fretting over my trip? Is he sick of all the academic testing? Why is he being a punk? Why won't he listen to me? Why has it taken this long for an African-American president to be elected?

And then I noticed on his IEP (individualized education plan) letter that there was a box marked for "special day class." I'm not sure if that was a mistake or if the school is actually thinking about placing Quinn in a "special day class." I can not stop thinking about my sinking ship of a dream for Quinn to snap out of it and start acting like his peers and attend "normal kindergarten" as all of his friends are. I've even watched as the other kids in his speech therapy class have graduated out of the program and are moving on while Quinn is still there.

I'm preparing for the meeting tomorrow and I'm bringing tissues. I've attended hundreds of IEP meetings for clients at work and watched as parents broke down in tears hearing about their child's disabilities. Now I understand what it feels like to be a parent with all of your hopes and expectations for your child as a team of "professionals" talk in matter-of-fact terms about your child's deficits. I really trust this team of professionals and they know that I'm well versed on the in's and outs of IEP meetings. I know they will do their best to offer help for Quinn as he starts Kindergarten. This is my stuff. My feelings.. my own mommy guilt.

Next I have to figure out how to help Grant back off and let the professionals play their part in offering help to Quinn. This has been immensely difficult for me but probably more so for Grant because he's never been to an IEP meeting and does not understand all the psychological terms.

I'll post more about the results of the IEP when it happens.

Lost in \Translation

There are lots of buttons on the computer here in Kyoto and I have no idea what the heck they do. I just wasted about 20 dollars worth of minutes figuring out how to turn the Kanji characters off. I cant seem to find the punctuation either.

I:ve seen lots of neato stuff and stayed in a traditional style Japanese hotel. The owner got down on all fours and bowed to me when I arrived. Grant doesn't even do that for me. I went into a traditional Japanese bath (onsen) and forgot and wore the wrong slippers into the bathroom. (\this really freaked out a Japanese lady.. oops) I went for a walk last night wearing a kimono and wooden slippers. I:m sure my underwear was hanging out the back.

This morning　Ｉ　ｆｉｓｈ，　ｒｉｃｅ，ａｎｄ　ｐｉｃｋｌｅｄ　ｖｅｇｅｔａｂｌｅｓ　ｆｏｒ　ｂｒｅａｋｆａｓｔ．　　Ｉ：ｖｅ　ｅａｔｅｎ　ｓｏ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｒａｗ　ｆｉｓｈ　ａｎｄ　ｍｅａｔ　ｉｔｓ　ｕｎｒｅａｌ．　　Ｉ：ｄ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｔｏ　ｇｏ　ｉｎｔｏ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｄｅｔａｉｌ　ｂｕｔ　ｍｙ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｉｓ　ｕｐ　ａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｉｎｔｅｒｎｅｔ　ｃａｆｅ．　　￥ｔｈｉｓ　ｍｅｓｓａｇｅ　ｐｒｏｂａｂｌｙ　ｃｏｓｔ　ｍｅ　ａｂｏｕｔ　３０　ｄｏｌｌａｒｓ．　　ｈａ　ｈａ．．

Ｍｉｓｓ　ｙｏｕ　ａｌｌ．

Ｐｉｃｔｕｒｅｓ　ｔｏ　ｃｏｍｅ　ｗｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｇｅｔ　ｂａｃｋ．　　

I'm not the tallest person in Tokyo!

Rumor #1 is dispelled. The Japanese are taller than I thought. I'm tall too, but not the tallest. The Japanese women are so beautiful and skinny.. It's not fair. I'm probably in the running for the fattest woman in Japan right now.



I know it's been ages since I updated the blog, but I thought I should share a little about my trip over seas. The is the furthest I've ever been away from home and the longest I've ever been away from my boys.

I won't bore everyone with all the details of my trip and the names of all the cities, blah, blah blah, blah. I've read about a trillion emails from friends and family that describe their trip in so much detail, that I walk away angry and jealous that I wasn't on vacation with them. I'll leave you with some tidbits that I discovered while I was here.

#1 Japanese women are very shy... so shy that they can't pee if someone else can hear them peeing. Some of the public toilets will make a rushing water sound to mask the sound you make when you go pee. (As my ass hit the toilet seat, I jumped at the sound of rushing water...it was like the sound of my water breaking except I'm not prenant or in labor.)

#2 The grocery store is much like going to an auction. Employees sell the food to you by yelling out about how fresh and delicious it is. People are eveywhere. I took a video of this and intend to post it later so you can see how crazy the Tokyu Food Show is.

#3 Some toilets will squirt water up you ass if you press the wrong button. (No explanation needed.)

#4 Bow a lot and learn to say you're sorry over and over again, even if it's not your fault. It seems like this would be a good cusom to adapt in the U.S.

I have to run now. I have no pictures to share because I forgot my USB cable at home.

More to come...

Free Dirt Giveaway!!

Spring has sprung at the Early household. My bulbs forced their way out and have withstood the force of 2 and 4 year old boys. Fortunately, the boys haven't learned about having fresh flowers in vases around the house. That's probably because their Dad isn't big on giving Mom flowers. There's something positive in everything right? I'm not complaining. Honestly..

The dirt on the other hand was not as fortunate as the flowers. This dirt pile has been excavated on numerous occasions and redeposited in several corners of my house (inside and out.) I managed to move most of the toys out of the pile before I took the photo. Grant has been taking his time posting an ad on Craig's List for the remainder of our top soil. I want it to go away as soon as possible. (So does my carpet...) So if you know anyone in need of free dirt. Send me an email. (Oh, it's my first free giveaway.)

Quinn found a pair of sunglasses from when he was a little guy. It's amazing how they still fit. He wanted me to take a picture of him. He looks like a child model.

Or maybe not... I'm not sure what this was about. I can think about 5 or 6 different captions for this one...

"What's that on your tooth Mom?"

"How much weight did you gain during your pregnancy with me?"

"When was the last time Daddy brought you flowers?"

Chase is more apprehensive about having his picture taken. Maybe he's getting me back for the naked Valentines Day photos. His right side is the "good" side.

Quinn had a speech and language IEP last week. IEP's are meetings held to help identify if kids have a specific "disability" (if you need to call it that) and then offer the kids some sort of accommodations at school. Quinn has only had speech therapy up to this point but when he starts kindergarten, we will most likely add a few more members to the "Quinn Fan Club" like an Occupational Therapist, and a Special Education Teacher.

Some parents might feel sad thinking of their kid's first year in Kindergarten and having a team that uses labels such as "special, therapy, and disability" to describe their kid's first year of school. It was music to my ears. I've been hanging my head low every time I hear another 4 year-old rattle off a long sentence or having a conversation with his/her parents. It hurts me to see how different Quinn's speech and behavior is from his peers. I have hopes that this new team (or new members to the fan club) will help make Quinn's transition into Kindergarten a successful one.

If you would like more information on joining the Quinn and Chase Fan Club, please inquire below.

Valentines Day for Big Boys

What do women dream about for Valentines Day? How about a cute guy, with intense blue eyes, wearing nothing.... but in his hands, he holds your heart?


Yea, that's my kind of guy. He looks like Cupid without the arrow or wings. Well, we tried the wings but that's where Chase drew the line. "No Mommy, I can't wear wings." Of course he had no problem running around the house and back yard naked in the middle of winter. I feel a bit guilty...I mean it's one thing to take photos of your pets like this...but the kids!!! I'm making Brittney Spears look like Mother of the Year. I made sure to send a copy of this photo out to all our friends and family so they can continue to blackmail Chase for the rest of his life.

Grant decided on a whim to install Chase's Big Boy bed. He's smart for not consulting with me because I would have gone through my mourning ritual that I go through when I pack away more baby stuff and old clothes. The crib was the last sign that a baby resided in our home. This means our family has officially graduated into a new era of child rearing. When I saw what he was doing, I bet my tongue, sucked back the tears, and tried to hold it together. I think one of my ovaries responded by aching and trying to ovulate early.

So here's the man putting the big boy bed together.

Since we didn't plan ahead, we still had the crib in the room. Grant shoved it into the center of the room to take care of later.

The boys enjoy a fun project and they grabbed their tools and tried to help. I didn't help at all. I observed while holding a box of tissues, trying not to ovulate.

Once assembled, the kids had to test it out to make sure they could get maximum bounceage out of the bed.

They looked more like this to me as I had tears in my eyes...

I felt a little better putting the new bedding on the mattress. Chase was excited about the "crutchin site" on his bed. (A.K.A. construction site)

So that's where we are. We officially have no babies in the house. :(

Namenda...bless you!

Namenda?? What the heck is that you say... It's Quinn's latest medication we started this month. Quinn saw the neurologist last month just before Christmas and he suggested we add yet another medication to see if it would help with his speech and language development. He gave me some research on an Alzheimer's medication called "Namenda" and suggested we give it a try. The most reported side effect is.....get this......irritability.

As if we don't have enough irritable men around this house. Someone help me! I'm dying in a sea of irritable boys between the ages of 2 and 32! I'm packing the car and I'm headed for Tahoe...er further out than that. I'll be back in about 16 years. Don't leave the light on for me.

So I did what any mother in my anxious shoes would do. I researched Namenda on Google. I was a little torn because the neurologist is using this drug as an "off label" use. (meaning, the drug is not intended for children.) On the other hand, I found some interesting information from other parents who have used Namenda and had great results with it. If you're interested..read here.

http://www.talkautism.com/sponsors/autismspeaks/HelpWanted.aspx?Page=Response&id=2528

So he started Namenda in addition to the Depakote, iron supplement, carnitine, etc. I can't keep track anymore. Maybe I should use some Namenda to help me remember what all the meds are for. He's been on it for a week and I haven't noticed any differences yet, but he has been a little irritable. I have my fingers crossed that it'll pass.

On to more interesting things... I took the boys to the train museum and managed to snap this photo of Chase with his head poking up in the middle of one of the display sets.


The train museum is typically a fun place to hang out when it's cold and rainy. The boys enjoy the trains and engines, and the mom's run after them trying to corral the kiddies before they run off. Unfortunately, I got held up while walking through a train car and Quinn took off. I thought he would wait for me at the end of the train car. . . . . . I was wrong. Quinn took off and was lost. My work friend Laurie was running around searching one end of the museum while I ran the other direction dragging poor Chase behind me with a death grip on his hand.

I can't tell you the feeling or thoughts that were flashing through my brain. After 10 minutes of screaming "QUINN QUINN!!!!! QUINN!" I cornered an employee and sucked up my pride and admitted I could not find my kid. I had failed as a mother and lost track of my most precious gift....my first born son. The employee was a little old man who was about 90 years old and moved at the speed of a 105 year old man. He notified the front desk and the employees began guarding the doors and looking for Quinn. They asked me what Quinn was wearing and my mind was blank. I think I stuttered, said "I don't know" a few times and then began describing his orange shirt, jeans, and hoodie sweater when I realized that I was looking at him walking toward me with a museum employee. I dropped everything (except for Chase's hand which was purple at this point) and ran up to Quinn hugging him and crying. He was crying too and obviously a bit disoriented.

The museum employee asked me, "Is this your son?"

Was she serious? No, lady! I just enjoy running around your museum screaming at the top of my lungs "Quinn" for the hell of it to see if it'll attract a little boy.

After we returned home Chase got creative with a random pen he found laying around the house. Below is the photo shopped version...

This is with Chase's art work. Can you tell?????

Here, take a closer look. Some children draw on walls and decorate the house. Fortunately, my kids keep their art on their bodies. I'm ok with it as long as their body art washes off.

Hopefully he won't ask for a tattoo any time soon.

How to take a Christmas photo....101

It's that time of year again where I hang my picture taking abilities on a hook in the closet and attempt to put together a Christmas photo card. As you know from previous posts, it's really difficult to get a decent picture of the boys. One is looking away, the other picking his nose, or staring off into space. To throw us through a loop, Quinn has become more "huggy." This bothers Chase which in turn causes Quinn to hug Chase more. This session didn't last very long. The boys enjoyed the photo session much more than Daddy who was hired using bribes of sexual favors to stand behind me and make the boys look at the camera. (oops, TMI, I forget family reads this blog.)

Daddy: "Quinn be nice to your brother!"

Mommy: "Look at me and sit up straight!"

Lets try a few back to back! Nice work boys.

Daddy: "Quinn stop hugging Chase. He doesn't like it."

Chase: "Do you see what I have to put up with???"

Mommy: "Wait, we're not done! Come back! CHASE!!!!!

Chase: "Hold your horses, I'm back.."

Chase: "Quinn if you don't stop hugging me, I'll.........."

Chase: "That all! I'm out."